Thursday, January 31, 2008

not much....

I haven't had much to say the past couple of days. I have been filled with anxiety and worry over the meeting Cory and I were going to have with our pastor. We met last night and it went OK. Niether of us knew what to expect, it was ALOT of questions though! I envisioned myself crying the whole time... but I didn't and I think its all still pent up! lol As far as anything being "resolved"... there are still issues, but he gave us some things to think about. Please keep us in your prayers. And please keep me in your prayers for my anxiety. I know that Jesus tells us in The Sermon on the Mount (a number of times) "not to worry" and "not to be anxious"... its almost like the more I try to do well, the worse I fall back into the patterns. Like satan keeps pushing me down. Its frustrating. I want to over come it and move ahead with life. I know I can't do it alone... so please, pray for me.

I have a meeting tonight.. but I'm tired. I went 10 miles on my exercise bike this evening! WOW! Yeah. I would like to crawl in bed and sleep the night away (and get rid of the mindless babble in my head that plagues me with worry). I am thankful that we are able to sleep... and I'm thankful that I have a nice warm bed (with like 6 blankets on it!) to sleep in. I just hope I can get home in time tonight to get some good shut-eye! We are supposed to get a winter storm tonight... mostly Ice, I think. Unfortunately, I'll still probably have to trudge my way into work - since 5 miles isn't really all that far out.

Hope you've all had a lovely day! Mine was BORING!... You should check out all of the sweet goats HERE! I love this blog!! (and I just bought some Patchouli Goat Milk Soap from her Etsy Shop! WOOT!)

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


So I found out last night that my grandma was having surgery this AM on her knee!! No one told me! My mom just randomly brought it up!!! Glad I found out though!

Today, my coworker, Cathy and I decided to have a friendly weight loss challenge. She is getting married on Aug 2. So from Feb 1-Aug 2... we are going to see who can lose the most weight. She has more to lose than I do... but we are going to go by percentages so that its fair. (i'll have to have cory help me with that). We're going to keep a log of our weigh-ins, etc. Luckily, since we work with the warehouse, we can use the pallet scale to get our weight. LOL! I weighed myself today and I've lost 5 lbs since the beginning of the year! I've really been trying to watch and exercise! My main goal is to fit nicely into the clothes that I already have. I can't afford to get new ones.... but I'm not going to complain if I lose a little extra. The prize at the end of the competition is that the loser takes the winner out for a nice dinner (to treat ourselves). We're both excited. Cory already works with me on losing weight... but I know that its an encouragement for Cathy that I "compete" with her and keep her accountable. :)

Pray for us: Cory and I are going to talk to the pastor about some faith issues we have--which is why we haven't gotten engaged yet. (although my commitment issues are still another factor.. lol). I am nervous.. my stomach is swirlin'!!!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Something ELSE new!

So... today I started something new. I wasn't going to even try... but Cory encouraged me last night (when we were at the craft store) to try it out. SOOOO... I am making moon pendants. They are just simple, really. I got a mold and some clay... press them, bake them, paint them and hope they turn out OK! I am not the best painter in the world, but to me... these are just fun expressions. By no means am I into astrology or anything... but I just love to look up at the moon and stars at night. So this little project is something I enjoy. I've spent most of the day on it... and its a bit time consuming!! One day at a time though!

The smaller ones I would like to make into earrings!!!

my weird animals...

Ok...first...I meant to take a picture of my crocheting again... because I have mastered the art of NOT making it too tight. It's looking nice. But its only practice, so I am still trying to figure out how to make nice edges. I need to start counting, I guess. I'll post another pic sometime later.

Ok--I was walking past my loom/sewing/exercise/misc. room... and happened to see THIS: Obviously you can tell that I don't use my machine much since the pedal is on the table and its not plugged in. BUT... still. Weezer is perched atop my machine... not because she is trying to keep away from Boo... but because she just WANTS to lay there! It's SO odd!! I just had to share!

Then--Last night... Cory let Boo up on the couch! SHAME SHAME! But I know he was just trying to make me smile. I didn't let her up there for long. He's trying to teach her bad habits. LOL!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

A little crochet...

Last night I had a meeting at church. It was pretty informal (considering I was wearing jeans, a hoodie and chuck taylors)... anyway... I was telling a couple of the ladies (before the meeting) that I was going to teach myself to crochet. I got this little instruction book. LOL! The one woman, Cindy, is a crocheting fanatic and came right over and started showing me! I was like AHHHH! I had NO IDEA what she was doing! She got me started... and it's going... um... OK, I guess. I definitely need a lot of practice. But I am excited to know how to do it!! :) Do I need to make my stitches looser?

In other news, my great grandma just moved to town! Right across from my sisters, in a small personal care home! We had been praying for this! I am so excited that she is closer! I got her a pair of pants and a shirt (she doesn't have many)... so I think I might take them over this afternoon after my OTHER meeting this AM (at 9am). God is GOOOOOOOD!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

My puppers...Boo...

So, the people I bought Boo from (as a puppy) told my mom that she (Boo) is the only pup that didn't get moved far far away from them. So I would like to take her to visit them sometime (since she was their favorite out of the litter). I also would like to send them a pic or two... so I took a couple today. She wasn't being too cooperative--but let me know which you think I should send them!!!

Do you think she will know her momma when she meets her again? I didn't know if dogs could sense that? (I think the up-close pic makes her schnoze look weird... I won't send that one0.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

My Wednesday Night Tragedy....

I'm telling you what... this is NOT my week! Something absolutely tragic happened tonight. I was sitting down to finish my 2nd mitten (from the purple sweater I got this weekend). I was so excited to finish this pair of mittens... I got right to work. Well, I popped in a Seinfeld dvd and stitched away... finally, the mitten was done!!!! Yahoo! I grabbed the first mitten so I could try them on... and much to my chagrin... they were both right-handers!! AHHHH!!!! I called Cory immediately with the news. Luckily he lifted my spirits. I almost cut the stitches out of one mitten to flip it around... but he encouraged me to make sure I maybe had enough wool left to create a left hand. *sigh* So, I went and got the sweater and I think I can squeeze a lefty out. I am just so bummed... all of that time - wasted. Maybe I'll do something crafty with my extra mitten--once I stop holding a grudge against it. lol!

My Eye

So, My eye is OK.... PHEW! The doctor even wondered if I had gotten anything in it. LOL! So... PHEW! PHEW! PHEW!!!

Thanks to my sister for taking me to the eye doc!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Welders Flash and Battery Acid

You will never believe what has happened to me today! I work at a welding and fabrication place... and while I was walking through the shop... a worker stopped to talk to me for a second... and when I turned back around, another worker started welding and the BRIGHT blue flash practically blinded me. Talk about INSTANT headache! (an all-day headache!) Then... I came home from work, grabbed a shower and decided to try out this scale for shipping my Etsy stuff (not that anyone is buying anything)... so I take it out of the box (mind you it has already been used before by my mom or sister or something).... and I am trying to turn it on. I flip it over and find the battery thing (because it wasn't working). I slide it open... and see that there are batteries and thought "hmmm... maybe they just need readjusted"... and went to slide the cover back on to flip the scale over.... and WHAP!!!!!!! Something flung in my eye! I freaked and ran to the bathroom to rinse it out. UGH!!! After a few mins of that, I went out to the living room to get the phone. I thought maybe my wet hair flung some drops or something... but as I was dialing my mom... I opened the battery compartment up and noticed a liquid on the cover... and THEN on the battery!! I started telling my mom and she came right over. Then called poison control. The lady said to flush my eye out for 15 mins (standing in the shower) and to call back in an hour to let her know how its doing. AHHH! So I got back in the shower.... and stood there--trying to rinse... but it hurt to have water on my eye! So I finally got out and got dressed again... only to sit here and wait to see what happens, I guess. I thought I should go to the ER or something.... but the poison control lady didn't seem too freaked. So I dunno. It's not bugging me really--other than feeling a little scratchy. So please pray for me!!! This is just nuts!

An Anniversary Give-Away....

So, I stopped by my sister's blog and saw that her friend, Kerri is having her one year blog anniversary! Her page is really sweet! You should stop by to sign up for her give-away! I'd tell you what it is, but that'd ruin the surprise of visiting for yourself!
Gotta get ready for work (*yawn*)... Have a great day!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Some new threads...

This afternoon I went to visit Cory at his friends' place. On the way... I stopped at Goodwill and browsed the racks. I found some really nice sweaters. Not too thick, not to thin. I think they'll make some nice mittens. I really love the purple sweater with the pattern on it. I hope to have some more mittens made by the end of the week!!

It was really good to finally see Cory! I had a nice time talking to a couple of the ladies there. I am hoping to learn how to crochet the next time I go over there! I've always wanted to learn how to do that. I guess maybe I could just ask my mom! Maybe one day I'll have a post about my new-learned trade!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

It's past my bed time!

I am up a little later than normal. I just don't feel like getting up to get ready for bed yet.

Like my new and improved background/layout? Thank you, Katy, for helpin' me out with that!!

So, tonight was the employee appreciation dinner for my work. We went to a nice country club in the next town over (there are almost 500 employees--plus their dates and it was pretty cramped!). My BF, Cory, wasn't able to make it due to some prior arrangements with friends that I knew he couldn't back out of... and that he didn't want to back out of(which is A-OK with me!). So, I asked my dad to go with me. Turns out that my uncle (who works at my company's other facility) brought his daughter along instead of his wife... so that was nice for me... hanging out with my cousin. Anyway... we told them to save us seats. We get there and they are sitting WAY in the back corner--which actually turned out to be the front corner because the microphone was at our end of the room. We were sitting, the only ones at our table, people were mingling and eating their salads,etc.... when all of a sudden... the President of the company (who is very intimidating, I might add)... his WIFE sits down across from me. My cousin (Meghan) and I looked at each other... like "UH-OH!"... (She used to work at my company during the summers when she was home from college). A few minutes later... the big guy comes over and sits RIGHT BESIDE MY DAD! I gave my dad a sympathetic look. Here I was trying to be nice... have my dad come with me to a free buffet dinner... and he ends up sitting by the INTIMIDATING PRESIDENT of the whole company!!! He gave a little smirk and shrugged his shoulders. From 6pm to 8:45pm we were at this dinner. Luckily my dad was an awesome sport and was able to chit chat with the pres... even made him laugh a couple of times. I was just minding my own business, chatting with meghan to try to avoid any conversation with the men. Behind me sat a girl that we knew from school. Meghan saw a ring on her finger... THE finger. So, she motioned and mouthed to me "Is she engaged?"... I had no idea.. I couldn't see the ring from my angle... so i scooted around and saw it. HUGE! I waited till the next round of applause (as they were giving out awards).. and I tapped her on the shoulder and said "hey, are you engaged?". I was just trying to be friendly--and curious. She looked at me all weird-like and shook her head NO and turned back around real quick. I was a little surprised... I figured she would at least SAY something. (maybe its a sore subject!?). So... on we go with the dinner.. where one of the names being called was "Drukenbrod"(Droo-Ken-Broad)... and the guy at the microphone said "DRUNKENbroad". The place ROARED with laughter (she just happens to the the HR lady that no one likes). I admit, it was kind of funny... but I was kind of embarrassed for him. I really think it was an accident. So, I went up to get dessert... some kind of strawberry cake... some orange cake... and chocolate. Well.. we only saw the chocolate pass on a plate, going to someone's seat to be eaten. I knew my dad wouldn't like the fruity cake... so I waited for chocolate. And waited. And waited. Soon, there were a half dozen of us waiting for chocolate. We were even waiting patiently! And one of the ladie's bringing out the trays of cake was like "NO MORE CHOCOLATE!". It was really snotty! We were aghast at her response.... and we hadn't even asked!! So, I took back a piece of orange and a piece of strawberry... and like I thought, my dad turned it down. So, who said they would eat it?? The President of the company, of course. So I handed it over. Oi Vey! Well, I didn't win any awards... or door prizes (surprise, surprise)... but it was good to hang out with my cousin and spend some time with my dad. Oh yeah, and that girl with the ring... when we got up to leave after everything was over.... I turned to her politely and said "Sorry about that, we just saw your ring and were curious if you guys had gotten engaged" (her bf was there too)... and you know what she did? She snubbed me! She looked at me and didn't say a word.. and walked away! UGH! I was stunned... although.. I guess by the way she reacted the first time, I shouldn't have been. Oh well. No loss to me. The ride home was interesting... chit chatting with my dad. I apologized for his crappy seating arrangement... but he said that he was glad he went. He even shook the pres's hand and thanked him. (He hardly gets out to do anything---work). I'm glad he went too. Although I do miss Cory. I haven't seen him since Thursday!!!

Alright--I'm off to bed. I can hardly keep my eyes open!

Oh yeah--here are a couple pics of me and my cat and dog... I love them!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Getting a new look...

Tonight my wonderful sister is kind enough to help me spruce up my blog a bit. Good thing she knows what she is doing... I have no clue! I am an "instant gratification" type person... I don't like to wait... and I don't like to research or take time to make something happen... I like it to just happen. Not one of my better traits! However, with her help, I will hopefully be able to reflect myself through my blog a bit better and actually enjoy the look and feel of it. It's so "cold" right now.

I have a pile of sweater material sitting on the chair in my living room. It's starting to stress me out... but I know that I want to make some mittens... so it's a reminder to GET ON THE BALL!! I finished my orange mittens and posted them in my Etsy shop. They were a bit challenging to make because the yarn was so thick. I like the way they turned out though and I hope someone else will like them too!!! (I'm crossing my fingers... its that "I want it now" trait of mine)

A goal that I set for myself the last part of 2007 was to really concentrate on my selfish attitude. I would be selfish without even realizing it... just in every day things. The pastor at my church once said that when you get annoyed with someone or something... it's because its "putting you out"... "making YOU upset".. YOU YOU YOU... which translates into ME ME ME! I noticed that I have been REALLY annoyed with almost everyone this week. They don't even have to do anything and I'm already annoyed. (Maybe I'm just annoyed with myself). I have totally slipped up on my goal of being less about ME and more about OTHERS... and I need to get back on track. It's hard though! There is a little part of me that is still fighting... wanting to be in a bad mood... wanting to bite peoples' heads off. I need to over come it... something to add to my prayer list!!

Hopefully next time I post... this page will be turned upside!!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Latest Project

Today I started a new mitten project. I absolutely love the bright orange wool and the fun multi-colored yarn. I am having a great time with this whole Etsy thing. I posted a couple of my clay pots as well. Now I just need to not get discouraged if things don't sell!

I went to Goodwill last night and picked up this orange wool sweater and also a dark blue with some decorative trim. I can't wait for yard sale season!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Up and Running!!!

So, Cory and I posted my first item in my etsy shop!!! Check it out HERE! I haven't done anything special with the shop pages yet... but I was too anxious to post something!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Nothing Much

I've decided that being the 5S Champion at work isn't so wonderful. It's actually a drag and I wish I didn't have to do it. Work has been so annoying and boring.... I think of all of the things I could be doing.... and it makes me wish for something more. Although, I can't complain. I've been blessed by the people I work with (some of them), and its really helped me open up (I used to be overly shy)... but when I think about life and what its about and what the heck I'm doing at my job... it just seems pointless. I have to keep reminding myself that I am there for a reason and I've benefitted in many ways... and God will use me where I am for His glory. I would love to have my own business, but I probably don't have the discipline... and I would love to be a SAHM... but I lack the commitment of even getting married. So, I'm feeling pretty discouraged. I have a tendency to be pretty pessimistic at times. Forgive me.

I am working on a new pair of mittens. They are a pretty shade of red... with a cream colored yarn. I'm hoping to go to Goodwill tomorrow and get more sweaters. We'll see!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

My Messy, Thrilling Life

I was browsing blogs today and found one called My Messy, Thrilling Life. I thought it was interesting... something to share!! I wish I could be as optimistic about my little old house and life!!!

Smitten with Mittens!

Last year, the interim Pastor's wife at my church had a mitten work shop. She showed us how to make adorable mittens out of old wool sweaters. They are a fun project... I love to make them, I just have a hard time sitting down to focus on it! I have tons of wool to pick from (Goodwill and thrift stores are a great place to find 100% wool sweaters!). The first pair I ever made are practically worn out because I have worn them so much at work(they are a thin wool). I've posted a couple of pics of my current pair. They are pretty plain, but I like them that way. There are many ways to apply buttons and designs, or just simply use a wool sweater with a pattern! I have made many pairs as gifts... and plan on making more for the upcoming year. They really do make great gifts... and homemade gifts are the best kind!

Let me know what you think!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

"5S Champion... that's ME!"

Today I was approached by my supervisor at work to see if I would agree to be the "Champion" of the back warehouse. I was a little hesitant. This is part of becoming ISO Certified. If you don't know what that is... I am not much help. I barely know anything about it. All I know is that my work is turning upside down trying to clean, organize and maintain a certain type of atmosphere that qualifies by ISO standards. To be a "Champion" of an area means that you are basically the person in charge of getting that area organized (and recruiting others to help) and throwing away unnecessary items, labeling, cleaning, then maintaining that status. Now you can see why I was a little hesitant. My work make hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of different parts for lift equipment, cranes, etc. The warehouse, although not TOO big, is a pretty big responsibility. Luckily, I am familiar with a lot of what goes in and out and how the place runs (since I've done shipping for the past 4 years there).... but wow. Being the Champion is going to take a lot of time! Today the weather was BEAUTIFUL!!! I was even able to take my sweatshirt off and roll up my tshirt sleeves! My supervisor advised me that I didn't have to do the cleaning, etc myself... however, I just got the itch to do it. I can't resist being outside during work hours! So, I had another coworker take over my Receiving duties... and I set out to make a difference!! You wouldn't believe the stuff I cleaned up!! I got to use the forklift (fun stuff!!!)... I organized parts on the skids... consolidated... scrapped a bunch of junk... moved... labeled, etc. I had people commenting all afternoon on how they have never seen it look so good! This is actually funny because I am NOT an organizing-type person. It felt really good to take initiative and make a difference though. And it's easier to clean up someone else's mess. LOL! Tomorrow, I tackle the inside!!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Once Again...

Today, I am going with my dad and boyfriend, Cory to visit Great Grandma again. I picked her up a pair of black pants and a nice shirt for her birthday. (She only has a couple of pairs). Hopefully she will like them! It's funny how people become particular in their old age! I also picked her up a couple of new toothbrushes and some toothpaste (her request from my last visit on Tuesday). This visit, I hope to keep my mind focused and not lose it like I did last time. I have been reading this book called "Calm My Anxious Heart"... and it's been a good reminder of where to keep my focus!!

I apologize for my lack of creativity on my page so far. I am waiting till I have time to sit down with my sister and figure things out. Visit her at The Country Blossom .

I think my tree is going to come down tonight(depending on what time we get home from great grandma's). My dad came over yesterday to see it and chit chat. I think I will feel relief when that's all taken care of and everything is put away!! My cat has taken a liking to the tree... and already broken a couple of ornaments. I think she might be disappointed when life goes back to normal! She looks a little evil in the picture... but I assure you, it's only her "princess attitude". I think she was annoyed that I was taking her picture!

Yesterday I went to an antique shop to look for some presents for my cousin's birthday. While there, I saw all of these old ornaments labeled from the 1930's. If you notice the ornament in the picture, I believe it is around the same age. I actually had some of the same ornaments on my tree that were in the shop. So that's kind of cool. I love ornaments, and vintage ones are even better!!

Have a nice Sunday!!

Saturday, January 5, 2008

It's time...

I am ready to take down my Christmas tree!!! Unfortunately... my dad wants to see it... and so I just can't bring myself to tear it down yet. He's been over to my house while it's been up, but not while it was lit up! So... I'll have to get him over here so I can get my house back to normal. This year I got a smaller tree than last. I live in a tiny house and my living room is an odd shape with 6 doorways! Makes it hard to arrange furniture, let alone find a place for a tree!! I am posting a picture of my dog, Boo - with the tree in the background (I'm not much of a photographer!). I am a fan of shiny, gaudy ornaments that the tree lights reflect on. I put all but about 5 of my ornaments on my tree this year!! (I have A LOT of ornaments!). I really enjoy the old ornaments that came from my great aunt after she passed away. They're unique. Some are normal christmas balls with vintage designs, others are odd shaped - I don't even know what they are. But they were a nice addition to my collection! Next year, I am going to nix the real tree and use a pencil tree that I got this winter. (Unless I move into a bigger house by next Christmas). Just makes more sense!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

A blast from the past...

So, yesterday I went with my mom, aunt and niece to visit my great grandma in an assisted living place. It was about an hour away... and I wasn't feeling too great. It was important to me to take the trip though.. great grandma is giong to be 93 tomorrow! I haven't seen her in quite awhile. So... we drove down. When we got there, grandma had hockey on with the volume full blast. We came in and showed her the birthday cake we'd gotten her and pulled out some chairs. I shouldn't have been surprised, but she was practically skin and bones. 84 pounds is what they said she weighed. I think I weighed that much in elementary school!!! I was saddened to see the conditions she was living in. She doesn't like to go to the "common area" where the other people gather because they watch The Beverly Hillbillies and she doesn't like the music (lol... luckily she has a TV in her room)... but worse than that, there is an old man that lives there as well and he will follow her around. She said that she can't even sit down because he will come and sit RIGHT next to her... and "pass gas", to put it nicely. *sigh* So she sits in her room. A number of times she wanted to know what time it was... and when my mom told her "3:20"... she was upset because she had to wait so long till it was bed time. We didn't get to eat any cake because grandma wanted to save it for everyone for dessert later on. (We were SO looking forward to cake!!) She seems to like her roomie, Sonny, though. Grandma was so worried that there wouldn't be enough room for Sonny's wheelchair to get past us!! We were sitting there (after about 2 hours of visiting) and Sonny wheeled up but saw that we were there and didn't want to intrude... and grandma turned in her chair and called after her, "They were just leaving!" Then she turned back to us and told us that we were leaving (it was a half ask/half tell) and that we were to tell Sonny to come in on our way out. Haha. It was a bit comical... but at the same time it kind of made me sad that it won't be too long before she won't be around to visit anymore. She got a little weepy when we were saying goodbye. I may go back down on Sunday to visit her with my dad. We'll see. Yesterday brought back to mind all of my anxieties about the past and the future. I was reminded of my youth and visits to great grandma and grandpa's house (I remember the Christmas that they got us Batons!). Then I was reminded of great grandpa passing away. It made me think of all of the times I should have gone to see them... or other members of my family. There were pictures of my niece from when she was 1 and 1/2 or so... and now she is 6 1/2!! I am just too emotional, I guess. Part of me keeps thinking about living for today and not dwelling on the past. But then I was talking to my cousin this afternoon about my wedding (which isn't official... we aren't even engaged)... and I started feeling anxious about the future. If you are a praying person, please pray for me. I have struggled with anxiety for a long time. I always just thought I was depressed... But I read this awesome book by M. Blaine Smith called THE YES ANXIETY (anyone with commitment and anxiety issues should read it!)... and it really brought to light what I was going through and what caused it, that I wasn't a weirdo and that it was really important to change my mindset. I think maybe, instead of the usual "lose weight" New Year Resolution... I should resolve myself to STOP THE ANXIETY. I can't let every day go by with a racing heart and stress! I can't let things that are supposed to be enjoyable (like visiting my great grandma) haunt me with regret and guilt. It is so important to live each day as a NEW DAY. I can't stress that enough... if only I could figure out how to do that myself. That's what the prayer is for, I guess.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year... I think....

So, it's 2008. I am not one to take change very well... and usually I have a breakdown at some point over events like the starting of a new year. I think maybe my breakdown was yesterday... especially because I found out that an old crush from years ago is getting married in February. Lame, I know... I shouldn't dwell on such things because I have so many good things in my life. But, I guess its more about the fact that I have to let go of my youth. It just seems odd to me. I don't feel like an adult... but I don't feel like a kid either. I guess I feel like, when everyone around me is living... my life is standing still. (Which distresses me). But then, I look at my family, my house, my dog and cat, my car, my job, my best friend (Cory), and I see how blessed I am! I have so much to be thankful for. I need to work on "dwelling on the past". Actually, I just need to NOT worry about it... and look forward to the future. I so much want to get married and have a family and LIVE and LOVE... I can't really do that when I am worried about what used to be and what isn't happening. Worrying stinks! So anyway... I am just rambling. I want 2008 to be an amazing year... I pray that it is... and I know God doesn't give me anything I can't handle!!