Saturday, March 27, 2010


I have debated on whether or not to post about this... but decided that I would so that I could vent a little.

The past couple of days I have been busy preparing a few things for the Bridal Shower of one of Cory's friend's fiancee. We know each other and aren't all that close, but I have been helping them with some wedding things when she is in the area (visiting the soon to be in-laws). I've addressed her Save-The-Dates, Shower Invites and Wedding Invitations. I've also helped with some other miscellaneous things.

Anyway, my mother-in-law and I decided to go in on a shower gift together. We got some baking items (cake mixes, icing, and these really cute decorations--star sprinkles, purple nonpareils, sunflowers, and sea critters--stuff that you can't just buy at Walmart). We got a basket and some basket filler to arrange it all in. Then, I spent a lot of time yesterday sewing this really cute apron. I wrapped the apron in a box, placed the basket with the other items on top and then put them all in a gift basket bag and tied it up with a bow.
(Excuse my poor photography)

I also baked some cookies to take to the shower, which they had asked me to do... and which I had no problem doing! (Although the recipe was not as easy as I had expected and ended up turning into quite the headache! haha)

So, today... I head on over to the shower. I knew a few people, but most of it was the family of the groom. After a few minutes of finding a seat, etc... the groom's grandmother came over to get me and introduce me to some of her sister's and her daughter and granddaughter. I felt awkward as she fussed over how I'd done all of the "beautiful handwriting" on the invitations. But I smiled.


The one lady said, "Well, when you don't have anything else to do..."


I could feel my face burning. I was kind of in shock. What was THAT supposed to mean? I don't even know these people!

So, I just kind of smiled.

One of the other ladie's said, "Oh, don't you work?" and I said, "No..." (unless you count the cooking, cleaning, sewing, crafting and oh, that's right WEDDING STUFF that I have spent hours on for this upcoming wedding.... But I didn't say that, of course.)

Another lady said, "Just for the short term, right?" (Am I supposed to have a job? Cuz it sure was feeling like it.)

I explained that my husband works and we decided that I would stay home (though I didn't mention it was because we had expected to conceive fairly soon and wanted me to stay home--which obviously hasn't been the case. But that heartache is none of their business). I also said that we live within our means and don't need a lot of extras. I tried to be nice and act like it was no big deal. They promptly started going on about where they worked... meanwhile I smiled and nodded, all the while feeling like I had just been handed a big sign that says LOSER. Luckily, the activities started shortly thereafter and I was able to escape to my seat.

Fast forward to the time of present opening...

The bride-to-be starts to take the plastic wrap off of the gift basket I had made up. After pulling the basket out of the plastic and people start asking what is in it, she promptly makes the comment, "Baking stuff... Oh. Except I don't bake."

(WHAT?! Then why did you have a bazillion cupcake tins, cookie sheets and cake pans on your registry??)

I thought that our gift basket (to go along with the apron) was a cute idea. I was excited about the specialty cake decorations we got her!

It just kind of hurt my feelings and made me wonder why I put so much time and effort into it all when she had that kind of reaction. Yeah, maybe the cost of some cake mixes aren't all that expensive... but you can hardly put a price on the time, effort and money that it took to sew the apron. And thank goodness my mother-in-law helped pay for some of the items because I wouldn't have had the money to put it all together myself.


Perhaps the bride-to-be and the lady from earlier on didn't mean to sound so rude... but I've spent most of my day stewing over it (much to Cory's chagrin) and I really don't know how to just blow it off. I know I will... eventually. It might just take a few days...


  1. I can't believe she reacted like that! Even if she doesn't bake, she could've said "well, now I have no excuse not to bake more!" or something like that! I'm sorry that the women there were so rude about your household and your lifestyle -- it's none of their business!!

    I would have died to see your gift sitting on my own gift table, just so you know! I hope they don't have the audacity to ask you to help with anything else!

  2. yikes! you sure are a gracious gal! Some people are just "negativity spreaders" to use a phrase from one of my all time favorite movies, "Heavyweights" Your gift basket and adorable apron along with the time you put into helping with the plans will be rewarded, even if only in the knowledge that you gave selflessly of your self to be a blessing to another!

  3. Being a housewife is a comendable job. Taking care of your husband and home is what God wants women to well as your children when His timing is right! :) Don't ever let anyone hurt you by their words about that. Just thank God that you have a love for Him and are doing your best to follow His role for your life! :)

    And Devon...I absolutely LOVE that apron! It is beautiful! You did such a fantastic job with it! I am so sorry she reacted the way she did. :(

  4. I would have loved the gift basket and apron that was a very neat gift and I would have been happy with delight if it were my wedding gift!! Plus don't let anyone bring you down because you stay home you are doing a wonderful job taking care of your husband and house!! Thats the best job in the world!!

  5. Wow. People never cease to amaze. You KNOW I think there is no higher calling than being a wife and taking care of your family. I definitely see the frustration you're experiencing. Keep your chin up! Just think - those women may be critical of your life, but they'll never experience the joy you have in what you do. (It kind of makes me a little sad for THEM).

    As far as the gift, I think it was fabulous. In a way, I guess it puts into perspective for me how easily the way we react to things can cause pain in others - since you put so much effort into that basket and apron, and then had to experience basically a brush-off for your effort. Again, know that what you did was beautiful, even if it wasn't appreciated.

    <3 ya.

  6. I would have been pissed and hurt. That was awful!

  7. Yeah you're right to feel very hurt and angry,,,I would be too....the next time anyone casts aspertions such as "you dont work!!!",,,,just answer " I do, very hard...I jsut dont get paid (financially rewarded). Anyway what goes around comes around and that lady (!) will be in the same position one day only the difference being she will feel smarted by How Much She Has Spent and it will serve her right!!

    You carry on as you are and everything will turn out ok

    Karen xx

  8. Over the years, Devon, I have taken note of who really appreciated the things I made for them. Those who didn't were given store-bought items from then on! I used to feel that when I gave "homemade," it wasn't perceived to be as good of a gift. I actually had a girl tell me that when I was younger! Then I thought about how much time and talent I invested and the thought behind making something that the person would like, I realized how much more I put into my gifts than those who just threw money down for something. Let it roll, Devon. Just remember not to put the effort in for her next time!

    And in regard to being a "stay-at-home"... Very often people don't realize that in many cases, going off to work is the easier way out! I've been in both situations, so I'm aware of both sides. I happen to think that you are very blessed to be home and as long as you and Cory are in agreement with your choices, what others think doesn't matter... unless you let it!

    Love ya, Dev!

  9. Oh my goodness!! How rude!!
    I would have loved to have received a gift like that!! Those gifts are "from the heart" and the best kind of gifts!
    As for you not working...none of their business, and I admire you for NOT working!!
    Personally I think it was very ungracious of the bride-to-be to make a comment like that, and maybe she should start baking! LOL
    Take care..

  10. I've got to admit that I would have felt the exact same way that you do. A handmade gift is so much more special than something bought at the store and that apron is beautiful, not to mention the lovely gift basket you put together. Some people, unfortunatly, are ungrateful.

    And the heck with the women going on about you working. You and your husband know what works for your family, and thats all that matters. Keep your chin up, because you guys are so blessed! :)

  11. People can be so rude, sometimes ya have to wonder what planet they fell to earth from! I think the gift was a wonderful idea and I LOVE the apron!

  12. Sorry that I haven't read your blog in awhile...I can't believe how hurtful people can be. You know that I have been in the same situation as you with staying home and trying to conceive. I don't know why people have to make us feel like we have to go to work because we don't have a good enough excuse to stay home. Anyway, I really loved your apron and the way your gift wrapped it. I love all of the pottery and things that you have made and given me over the years! I cherish them so much! Some people just don't appreciate those kind of things, they would rather have a name brand purse or something worthless. LOL! I wish I was as talented and artistic as you, Devon! God bless ya girlie! :) ~Jillian~


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