Work was a living hell today. I was in tears most of the afternoon... and might have a lead on a different job. Hallelujah!
It's hard to go into detail because there is so much that you would have to know and understand... but to make a long story short... there is some miscommunication stemming from a particular person... that is then firing up other people... who, today, attacked me over the phone. Literally shouting... so... unfortunately... I found myself shouting back. This went on for a good 15-20 mins until I just couldn't take it anymore and started to cry. I had to later apologize to the guy at the computer behind me for the shouting match. He indicated that he could tell the frustration was rising... and he understood... and he also said, "...but nothing ever changes around here". So true. So true. Not long after the phone incident... I got a nasty gram (email) from this particular person (not the same person I was shouting with--but the person the shouting stemmed from)... and it enraged me even MORE. THEN... I think I mentioned that they moved my coworker, Bill and put in a new guy..... well he just topped the cake! He seems to have the lingering (but never spoken) attitude of "i always do the least i can do"... and ONCE AGAIN tried to pass work off on me (it seems to be becoming a habit)... and I snapped. I think I surprised him... and as much as I really don't want to apologize... I guess I probably should. I know I shouldn't let this stuff get to me... but when the majority of my life is WASTED in this work place... I really don't appreciate the lack of respect that I get. I do a heck of a good job and I am not going to let someone who doesn't even know half... heck, a quarter of what I do and how I do it... throw things into a jumble and cause strife between me and some of my coworkers. Granted, I guess by trying to get a new job... I am partially sounding defeated. But there comes a time sometimes when you just have to move on. Let the people screw the company up in their own time - and just let it all go. Of course, its a scary thought. I do not like change. (Hence, I'm not married)... and the new job would be a 20 min drive east... which is a bit more than 8-10 mins to my current job. But... I just want to be happy. I don't want to feel like a monster at my job because people shout at me for something I didn't even do - and things that they don't understand!
So, all of that said... I apologize if I don't seem like I have a very "Christian" attitude about it... but I've worked at this company for almost 5 yrs... and the respect level seems to decline as time goes on. I am asking for your prayers in going the direction God wants me to go. I was looking at work on the bright side for awhile... to be a light for Him, to be His vessel to the people around me. Season change... and I'm praying for wisdom to know that God wants me to move into the new season that seems to be falling upon me these days.