Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Change of Pace...

Yesterday, after speaking with my lactation consultant... we agreed that (due to some damage from over the past 2 weeks) I would start to pump to give my one side a break. It has not been easy to figure out exactly what I should be doing as far as scheduling Eloise's feedings and when to pump, etc..... but I am trying to get some sort of a routine. Hopefully we will only need to do this until I'm healed. But only time will tell!

This was Cory's first time feeding a baby... ever. He was more calm about it than I was!

I have to be honest... I have been struggling with the stress and guilt of giving her a bottle. I know it's still technically MY milk, but I feel like a cop out. Like I'm failing her because I can't just suck it up and do things the natural way. But I just CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN! I need to do what's best for both of us... and having me DREAD each feeding session due to the pain, is not helping the situation. SO... we are changing the pace and going with some pumping and with some regular nursing as well. I am crossing my fingers that all goes well!

We had her at the pediatrician's again yesterday... and she is up 7 oz. over her birth weight. The doctor is impressed--he says that "I must be doing something right"... but he doesn't know how much I still struggle with getting little Eloise to latch on properly. But... one day at a time.

I also would like to say... that I talked to my ObGyn yesterday about post partum depression. It was the weirdest thing. We were talking to the pediatrician... he asked me how I was doing... I burst out in tears... so he TEXTED my doc to see if she could fit me in that day. How odd to be texted about between doctors! But it worked... and we got in... and as much as I really hate the idea of taking meds... I know that I need to get balanced from all of this anxiety. I'm praying that it will make a difference.... soon!! And I have to view it as a good thing... not a weakness. I must admit, it's hard to keep a positive attitude!

Anyway... only 3 more pounds until I'm back to pre-pregnancy weight. Unfortunately, my body shape doesn't agree... so my normal clothes still aren't fitting that great. Hopefully one of these days though!!


  1. There is nothing to feel guity about, use the bottles and medications as you need them. My son was bottle fed and he turned out GREAT! The nurses suggested the nursing to me when he was born and I would practically scream from the pain,I don't feel it is worth being in pain over, just my opinion;) you will adjust and she sure is a cutie!!!!

  2. Eloise is beautiful! Sorry about your stress but be a peace that God is in control and don't feel guilty. God can use bottles, pumps and medicine to bring good things!

  3. I'm saying prayers for you and your family to adjust into your new life with ease and comfort.
    I know exactly how you feel and have been there myself.
    It totally works it self out though, just keep praying!

  4. Sending hugs sweetie! No guilt. You are doing a wonderful job and little Eloise is a sweetheart! Use whatever tools you need and don't feel guilty! Don't worry about what the books say or other people think - you know your body and your baby better than anyone. Give yourself some grace today sweet girl!

  5. Kavi wouldn't latch on at all and I had to give him mostly formula from early on, with a little bit of pumped milk. It's a great pressure, and I felt weird around my friends who solely breastfed, and they breastfed easily. Very frustrating. It's a shame we put so much pressure on ourselves, there is no need. The argument I have heard the most is that breastfed babies get sick less. Kavi was hardly ever sick for for the first year of his life while breastfed babies I knew were sick with ear infections often. I think genetics and exposure to germs are the real cause, not type of milk. He did get *some* breast milk so I know that was extra beneficial, but only for the first couple months, and not even as much as your daughter has gotten by now. I had to pump and didn't get a lot of milk.

  6. You're doing everything that yu need to do to make sure that your baby is being nourished. That makes you a wonderful mom, whether it's coming straight from you or from a bottle. She's growing, so yes, you are absolutely doing everything right. Don't get discouraged, God doesn't give you more than you can handle, and you've got this :)

    And if you need to talk to someone about post partum depression, I'm happy to lend an ear. I've been there. And it definatly does get easier. And taking meds does not make you any less of a person or a mother, it makes you human. Keep your chin up!!

    Love and prayers to you and your family!

  7. When the day came close to me going back to work I started pumping & freezing my milk so the babysitter could bottle feed my last baby. I continued to pump on my breaks at work & when I could at home. He still got his mommy milk & I was less sore. What ever works for you is right for you. Do not feel guilty. I remember thinking others said it was so easy. No two people are alike. All worked out & my baby was healthy & growing well. Prayers & Blessings!

  8. Just wanted to stop in and say that the medicine helps! It took me forever to convince my doctor I needed something, and after about a week on them, I felt like my "old self". Praying that your journey gets easier, and you mend quickly!

  9. NEVER feel guilty about using a bottle! Honestly, breast feeding just doesn't work for everyone. The bottom line is you are providing that gorgeous little girl with the nutrition she needs.

    I'm glad they fit you in to be seen about PPD. This is such a big life adjustment. You do what you need to and you will get through it!


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