Yesterday, after speaking with my lactation consultant... we agreed that (due to some damage from over the past 2 weeks) I would start to pump to give my one side a break. It has not been easy to figure out exactly what I should be doing as far as scheduling Eloise's feedings and when to pump, etc..... but I am trying to get some sort of a routine. Hopefully we will only need to do this until I'm healed. But only time will tell!
This was Cory's first time feeding a baby... ever. He was more calm about it than I was!
I have to be honest... I have been struggling with the stress and guilt of giving her a bottle. I know it's still technically MY milk, but I feel like a cop out. Like I'm failing her because I can't just suck it up and do things the natural way. But I just CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN! I need to do what's best for both of us... and having me DREAD each feeding session due to the pain, is not helping the situation. SO... we are changing the pace and going with some pumping and with some regular nursing as well. I am crossing my fingers that all goes well!
We had her at the pediatrician's again yesterday... and she is up 7 oz. over her birth weight. The doctor is impressed--he says that "I must be doing something right"... but he doesn't know how much I still struggle with getting little Eloise to latch on properly. But... one day at a time.
I also would like to say... that I talked to my ObGyn yesterday about post partum depression. It was the weirdest thing. We were talking to the pediatrician... he asked me how I was doing... I burst out in tears... so he TEXTED my doc to see if she could fit me in that day. How odd to be texted about between doctors! But it worked... and we got in... and as much as I really hate the idea of taking meds... I know that I need to get balanced from all of this anxiety. I'm praying that it will make a difference.... soon!! And I have to view it as a good thing... not a weakness. I must admit, it's hard to keep a positive attitude!
Anyway... only 3 more pounds until I'm back to pre-pregnancy weight. Unfortunately, my body shape doesn't agree... so my normal clothes still aren't fitting that great. Hopefully one of these days though!!