"The only people that you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs" -Unknown
Have you ever had a one-sided friendship? You know, the kind where YOU are the friend that makes all of the effort to keep in contact. YOU are the one who calls, texts, sends cards or notes (sometimes even presents!!), etc.... only to barely get a Thank You or even a reply at all? I've been thinking about that lately. I have a couple of friendships that have seemed to go in this direction. I am constantly the one trying to keep in contact... and then I wonder why in the world I am the one that always has to make the effort? It also makes me wonder if the person(s) doesn't really even care to keep in contact at all? Maybe they don't want to be my friend... because I'm pretty sure a friendship doesn't work that way.
I've been thinking on this awhile... and I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I have to make the decision to be over it. I may still send a birthday card or Christmas card... but other than that, BUH-BYE. I'm tired of being the one to make the first move... or ALL of the moves. Time to move ON! It's a little sad... and I really don't like to be the kind of person who only sends the obligatory card around the Holidays... but at the same time... the only thing I seem to be losing is the time I would've wasted on trying to keep in touch--with no reciprocation.
Onward and upward, I say!!
I hear you, loud and clear, Devon! I have found myself in the same situation and still do with some people. I've scaled back in situations and then been surprised when the other person comments about it, noticing the lack of contact, but not realizing that it's because I haven't made the effort... and that person never does!
ReplyDeleteI don't think there's a good excuse. I've heard it all... and probably been guilty of it myself at times. But, truly... if someone really cares, they should manage to make an effort. While busy, it may be a meager effort, but that's understandable. Why do some people act as though they're the only ones who are "busy"?
I have felt taken for granted in relationships—like it's a given that I'll go the extra mile to keep up contact. It's also made me feel as though I'm a nuisance... because if my friendship had any value, I wouldn't always be the one calling or dropping by.
As I said, I've probably not followed up on some friendships as I should have... and they've fallen by the wayside. Serves me right and is also an indicator, I guess.
Anyway, I understand where you're coming from and how you feel. It's difficult to come to that place. Sad—a letting go... :-(
you must focus on the feeling of what it feels like to be loved by a friend. telling the story of lack is only going to bring more lack. i am with you on this...
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