Thursday, February 4, 2010

A Little Venting...

I'm just going to put this out there...

Over the past number of months, it seems that there have been a lot of people having babies and getting pregnant. That's awesome! The creation of a new life is one of the biggest miracles! There is only a 20% chance each cycle that a woman can become pregnant, assuming that there are no medical issues with either partner. Since the window for getting pregnant each cycle is very slim... it truly is a miracle when it happens!

That being said... I am SO tired of hearing pregnant women complain about the inconveniences of it. Now, I've never been pregnant and some may say that I have no room to talk... but I do know what it is like to have dreamt my whole life of becoming a parent... and not having the opportunity. I try to be careful of my attitude toward people who are having babies, because a part of me is sad that it isn't me... however, the other part of me knows that it may have been a struggle for them. Maybe they tried for months with a lot of heartache and finally they got their miracle! Or, who knows... maybe they didn't have to try at all. But I don't know their situation... so I try to be sensitive to the fact that my attitude needs to be in the right place. I shouldn't begrudge anyone because of my own desires and impatience to become a mother. It's not something I'm proud of... but it's something that I often struggle with.

However...

Nothing annoys me more than a pregnant woman who goes on about being "fat"... or looking like a "beached whale"... (among other things). Pregnancy is a beautiful thing! Sure, some of the symptoms might suck... a lot... and heck, I probably would be complaining about getting sick if I was miserable with morning sickness! But I guess I just wish that some people would take into consideration the feelings of others... those of us who have not had the joy of experiencing a positive pregnancy test, or who have had the heartache of a miscarriage. It's more common than you might think... a lot of people just don't verbalize their issues (understandably). There are many women who would love to be carrying a life inside of them... sickness, "fatness" and all!!

I hope someday, if I ever have the opportunity to carry a child inside of me, I will remember the stress, heartache and hope that I felt while Trying To Conceive... so that I can keep my own attitude in check for the sake of those women and men around me who are perhaps silently carrying their own infertility burden.

9 comments:

  1. Hi, Nen!
    Thanks for coming by to visit and leaving such a sweet comment.

    First, I have to tell you that I love your header with all those pictures of you and your hubby! They are the sweetest!!! Y'all are just precious!

    I really like this post and can really understand how you feel. We've been blessed with 3 children to raise and 3 of our little ones are with Jesus. I suffered a miscarriage before each "successful" pregnancy. I believe, I KNOW that our babies are with Him and that we'll meet them one day. The heartache and devastation of a miscarriage is so much more than most people can understand - and their unwillingness to understand that that was your child, your baby - a hope, a dream, a LIFE... can make your loss even more painful and lonesome. I know this from experience, but I also know that our Lord held me closer and warmer as He healed me and I could never say enough about that.

    Our children know that they have brothers and sisters in Heaven and we talk about them at times and thank our Father that He gave all of our children to us.

    I enjoyed every moment of my pregancies (well, almost!) and was thankful for the blessings - even the swollen ankles, stretchmarks, "fatness", waddling, sleeplessness, etc., etc. Most especially for feeling them kick and punch and have hiccups (that is so precious!) and moving around getting comfortable... I had very difficult pregancies and my body seem to fight me all along the way, but I always knew how blessed I was.
    I always feel for women who say they don't want children, they TRULY don't know what they're missing and for those who complain about being pregnant - they don't know how blessed they are. How truly blessed...

    Sorry that I rambled. I only wanted to say that I understand what you wrote and that you're not alone.
    I'll be thinking of and praying for you!

    Many Blessings,
    Julie

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  2. I couldn't agree with you more. Are you and the hubby trying to conceive right now?

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  3. Jenn--yes, we have been since we got married in May. I believe that I had a miscarriage in July, however, I'll never know for sure since my cycle was kind of crazy and I never did test. It was the most horrible pains, etc that I've ever had. Symptoms match with those of a miscarriage. Anyway-it has been a hard 8 months... but I'm trying to stay positive! There's still hope... I hope!

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  4. Hi Devon!

    So nice to meet you. Thanks for coming to The Katillac Shack!

    I relate to this post! Had to accept its not happening for me. It is so great...not to be taken for granted.

    I bless you in your Divine quest!

    love,kelee

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  5. Thanks for saying that, I feel the same way! I actually can't wait to feel nauseous, because it will mean I have a baby inside of me *sigh*

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  6. Your post was one that gave good insight and perspective. We are blessed to have 3 wonderful children (now grown, with our older daughter married only a little over a year, another daughter, and a son).

    I truly cherished each pregnancy and loved and was amazed with the movement from within...(of course, I could happily have done better without the nausea I had with our last two.)

    I look forward to future grandbabies. Prayers for you and your husband. And thank you for sharing.

    Blessings & Aloha!

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  7. I totally know where you're coming from Dev.. Carl and I are in the same boat.. and I get really frustrated sometimes. We're not alone!

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  8. hey Nen, I just wanted to say thank you for speaking out... I am one of thoes women who can not ahve children, and get annoyed with all the complaining that I hear... also I am very tired of people that I know and that know my situation asking me, " so, when are you two going to have a baby?" I just want to explode and say "my situation is not something that is going to change, remember I CAN NOT HAVE KIDS, QUIT ASKING!!" for one thing it hurts that people ask, and for another it hurts more when those people already know that i can not have kids... people need to stop and think, before they speak!! thanks for bringing up this matter. sorry for the rant... ;)

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