Tuesday, July 8, 2008

When Will It End? When Will It Begin?


Work has been so horrible. I am sure there are people who will read on... and think I am just a whiner. Believe me, I KNOW there are people in worse situations. I KNOW that I am Blessed in SO many ways. But when you have to drag yourself out of bed each morning... when you have a horrible feeling about going in to your current employment situation.......... sometimes you just need to vent.
I don't know if it's the economy. I must be honest, I am not one to keep up with politics and news, etc. I just try to get through each day and try to keep myself on the positive side of things. That's a challenge for me! I have been such a pessimist for most of my life.
You may know that last month I switched from my Shipping & Receiving job... to just "Shipping". This new job includes checking parts into the warehouse, helping to keep things organized, computer work, and creating paperwork for shipments we send out, etc. Like I said earlier... I don't know if it is the economy or what... but we are SLOW! S-L-O-W! I have done pee-on jobs... such as stenciling racks, cleaning and painting a forklift, helping the Inspection Dept with some stenciling, SWEEPING THE FLOOR. Technically, maybe I shouldn't complain. I am getting paid to do whatever I do. But let me tell you... I am BORED. I am not challenged in any way--AND... I have to put up with really obnoxious people! I know, that's horrible. I am obnoxious in my own ways... and usually I try to be nice to everyone and look past stuff that happens or stuff that they say. I know that no matter where ya go or what ya do... you pretty much have to deal with people. We should take that as an opportunity to be a good witness... to let people see Jesus in us. I have been struggling with that lately. I WANT to do those things... but I am just having a hard time dealing with some people. Today, my coworker called me at home (after I'd left) to tell me some things he heard someone say about me. Let me start by saying that there was a situation today... and certain people didn't do THEIR jobs... and when it got to my part of it... I couldn't do mine. So, I passed the info on (via email) to the person who takes care of inventory. I also BLIND-copied the coworker who ended up calling me. Anyway--the email wasn't meant to be nasty or rude. I was just simply giving the info... what had happened... and what needed to happen before it got to me. We all know that emails and such can be taken in ALL sorts of ways--and apparently this person thought it was quite the "nasty gram". I appreciate my coworkers call--as a heads up--but now I am just stewing over this whole thing. Part of me imagines going in to work tomorrow and just flipping out at the person. Then another part of me knows that I need to be cool, calm and collected. If I lose my cool, it won't show Jesus. But UUUUUGH! Sometimes I just want to freak out. I called my sister to vent... and she helped me cool down a bit--but I am just so sick of everything at my work. I like some of the people. I've made friends and learned a lot about the business and about working with others... but what about my gifts? What about my talents and the things I like to do? This job is a joke. Actually, I feel like a joke at this job. If I think of the Pros... I can come up with quite a few.... Full-Time, Benefits/Vacation, Over-time, pay(for my lack of college/experience), daytime hours, 6 or 7 mile drive, I get to head up the ladies Christmas party (LOL!). Cons... PEOPLE, not challenging enough, dirty all of the time, have to take a shower when I get home, exhausted, PEOPLE, BORING, crappy desk set up, wearing a hard hat, PEOPLE, hot and cold--depending on season--ICK.
Here is my dilemma... and I KNOW that I can't play God in my own life. But I am so tired of waking up in such a slump. I hope to get married next Spring (its not official)... and it would be silly of me to quit my job now... if I could just stick it out... I could quit later - when it made sense and I would be moving. But I want to quit. I need to quit. Do I try to talk to my supervisor and let him know how unhappy I am? Do I look for a new job? All I've ever wanted to do in life is be a stay at home wife and mom. Part of me doesn't want to try to find a new job because I feel like I'll be obligated to the job and would feel guilty if I were to quit to live my dream. Silly, I know. But--then there is a part of me that wants to do something CRAZY! Its crazy because I am young and it is a lot of hardwork. I believe I could do it, but I believe I would be maxed.

I want to start my own consignment shop.

Antiques, handcrafted items, unique and interesting. My little town is a pretty good tourist area. I believe I could earn a half decent living (at least pay the bills). I would LOVE to get some of you crafters and artists involved. The only problem (besides not having much of the "start up" money it would take)... is that I can't do it alone. Or, I guess, I am afraid to do it alone. I don't know if I could handle all of the responsibilities. And if I get married... I will most likely live 30-40 mins in the opposite direction of the tourist part of the area - and it would be a long drive to keep up with the store (or end up not being in a prime location to be closer to my home). Also, I want to have time to do my own arts... pottery, weaving, mittens, jewelry, etc. If I had a partner or two... we could split "shop time" - and I could use those days off to create my own merchandise. I have mentioned it to my sister... she has a nice spacious garage that would be a great location. But it needs a lot of work and... it's also her husbands garage. LOL... you know men and that sort of thing!! Plus, she is going to homeschool her kids... and that would be a hard thing to juggle. Just so many factors. I am trying to be dilligent in my prayers about it. I wouldn't even know where to start... and I know it wouldn't be an escape from people... but it would be a way to use my talents and interests. Not feel like I'm spinning my wheels. *sigh* I don't know.

I am going to go google some jobs in my area and maybe some shop ideas...........


  1. I love your blog, first of all! You remind me of ME in some ways! I think you should go for your dream. I would love to have a shop like that. I think it would ROCK! Sometimes you have to just take a chance. God will direct you. But, of course you know that. Sometimes He wants you to take a step of faith instead of Him pushing you. I guess that's my two cents...don't know if it helps you at all! :)

  2. I'm so sorry, Nen, that life has been a challenge lately. I, too, think you really should sit back and evaluate where you are at and where you want to be.

    My husband stayed at a job he disliked for years. Now in his mid-forties, he says that he wishes he had the courage to step out and grasp his dreams way back then. Don't be afraid. The saddest thing would be to look back 20 years from now and wish you had tried something different.

    As for that cosignment shop .... that is something that I would LOVE to do too. I still have it on the back burner but know that sometime in my future, I WILL do it! I hope & pray you get to do it as well.



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