I've Been Lacking on the Posts...

I know I haven't really been writing. That's what summer does to ya! I've had meetings.. and went to visit my grandpa (who had heart surgery).... and the teen center... yadda yadda. I apologize.

Lately, I have been dreading work... BIG TIME. Not just the usual... "ick" that I feel in the morning. The past week or so... it's been a BIG WEIGHT on my shoulders, a tightness in my chest. I am trying to keep that positive attitude... but I must confess... it is so hard! I have been thinking a lot about wanting to stay home. I have always had the desire to be a wife and a mom... stay home, cook, clean, etc... but lately its taken off like a shot and I believe its playing a big part in my dreaded work days. Maybe its because I've been reading "Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. It talks a lot about the woman's role. Of course, I'm not married... but even so... when I come home to my house in the evenings, I just want to clean it all up! It has gotten quite messy lately with clutter (I never fully moved from my parents... there is still a ton of stuff over there--and I've been trying to gradually get their place cleaned out--sort of). I have been trying to get stuff ready for a yard sale... but there are boxes! and boxes! I have stuff I want to keep, but I'm afraid to leave them in cardboard boxes in my attic (like books, etc) because I'm afraid the crazy temperatures up there will warp them. I know I can only do what I can do... but I want to keep a nice house, cook meals and all of that. I guess since I'm not married, it isn't a huge deal... but then I think about when I am married... with all of the prices of EVERYTHING going up... is it logical to assume that one day I'll be able to live my dream of staying at home? I guess that's when you "live within your means"... even if it doesn't seem like much! *sigh* And nowadays... I come home from work... and I am too pooped to feel like cleaning. I do the minimum of what needs done... and that's about all I can stand. It's a little discouraging. I guess I've waited this long.. however much longer isn't going to kill me... and I can use this time to prepare myself... my mind... my heart.

In other news... which is still along the lines of work........ today.... I have been mostly SPRAY PAINTING. Yes, that's right. A can of paint in hand... trying not to inhale too much. Luckily my day is half over.. and I will get to see CORY tonight... and also my brother in law - who just got home from a mission trip to Romania. AND... it's a holiday week... WOOT! Except... we have to volunteer at the Teen Center on Friday... so...... that kind of stinks. So much for a 4th of July Celebration!

Wow--sorry if I sound whiny... I am really not in a bad mood! LOL!