My hormones must be all out of sorts these days.
I keep having one melt down after another.
Except...
I'm having melt downs about my cat, Weezer.
I know, I know...
GET OVER IT ALREADY.
But, like I said... it must be my hormones or something!
Yesterday I saw the vets phone number written on the calendar.
I had written it there when Cory and I made the decision to have Weezer put down.
For some reason...
Seeing it yesterday just made me break down.
I've seen it a million times.
Eloise often talks about Weezer.
She even ASKS to wear her "Weezy Neck[lace]"...
EVERY DAY.
Sometimes those moments trigger my tears.
Or of course, looking up at her picture on the wall.
I just get this big ball of regret in my chest...
and I pretty much lose it.
Today, I used a big fat marker to scribble over the vet's phone number.
But... that big scribble will probably set me off at some point too.
It's been 3 months.
Still just feels like yesterday.
So forgive me as I write about her AGAIN.
I never expected to feel such a loss.
Writing about it helps me to get my feelings out.
It truly does make me thankful for what I have though!
My family, my husband, my babies.
And I can always hope that there will be pets in heaven!
What a JOY that would be!
I understand. I am a big cat person. I got my first at age 12 and she lived until I was 31; others have lived 16--20 years. It's hard.
ReplyDeleteI had a good cry last week when I went through my November file folder for paid bills. There was the vet bill for the last day Cady was with me. (Gee, it makes me tear up just thinking about it even now!) I couldn't bring myself to run it thru the shredder with the other old bills....instead, I put it back in the folder. Maybe next year....Later that day, tho', it made me happy to recall how much she perked up on that last car ride we took from home to the vets....she was ALWAYS ready to "go for a ride"!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard, Nen....and it's OK....there are just days when a good cry is what needs to happen so you can move on....and you're right...sharing/writing is a good way to process, such a help at times! Hugs to you!!!!