A Busy Birthday Weekend...

Well, my birthday weekend was quite busy! I have some photos to share... and I'll just recap briefly on the events (or else I could practically write a book!).

Friday night was the races. Cory and I went to take some pictures for a slideshow that they're going to put on the Race Tracks Website (if they like the pics). My sister and her husband also came... they were going to run a push truck "Lenard" (obviously the guys named it because they didn't know how to spell it... and it's plastered on both sides of the truck... LOL!)... but Lenard broke a brake line before the races even started... so we all mostly just stood around in the middle of the track.

My sis, Dad and Me (I look like I'm going to fall over! haha!)


Cory

Saturday, Cory and I left bright and early for the Erie Beach... where we hung out for a bit before going to some stores and the mall. Then we went to the OLIVE GARDEN... where I ate entirely too much!! And then we went to a Casino... cuz I'd never been to one. It was smelly and gross... I imagined all of the germs... ICK! But, I was with Cory, so that made it worth it!

I just happened to have the camera on when these geese flew right over the water!

This is what you get when you try to avoid a picture with bathing suits on!

Sunday, we had a little shindig at my parents... hotdogs and hamburgers, etc. My sister's family came out and also my grammie (she was already up visiting). I have a video to upload and share with you... but I don't have time to put it on YouTube or anything... so I will have to do it later.

J and Me

Well, I have to go to church for a meeting... no more time! I'll share more another time!

TAGGED!! ABC's

A. Attached or single? Attached (but not married)
B. Best friend? Cory
C. Cake or pie? Pie!
D. Day of choice? Any day that I don't have to go to work.
E. Essential item? deoderant
F. Favorite color? yellow
G. Gummy bears or worms? Worms
H. Home town? In Pennsylvania.
I. Favorite indulgence? dessert--too many to list
J. January or July? My bday is in JULY... although--i don't like getting older!
L. Life isn’t complete without? Jesus
M. Marriage date? maybe next year?
N. Number of brothers and sisters? 1 Sister (she tagged me on this)
O. Oranges or Apples? Either
P. Phobias? Commitmentphobia. As silly as it sounds, I looked it up. That's what its called.
Q. Quotes? Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none. -William Shakespeare
R. Reasons to smile? I'm alive.
S. Season of choice? 100% FALL!
T. Tag 5 people: Erin, Jennifer(when you're off bloggybreak), Melanie, Tonya, Chick
U. Unknown fact about me? I still sleep with my blankie on my bed! LOL
V. Vegetable? corn, i guess.. i like lots of others!
W. Worst habit? complaining
X. Xray or ultrasound? never had an ultrasound
Y. Your favorite food? Cory's homemade fried rice!
Z. Zodiac sign? BLLLLAHHH

A Little For This, A Little For That...

Or shall we say A LOT?

The cost of getting my gas line replaced...
(Not including the rental of the Ditch Witch.. or the plastic we used to cover it):

$600


The cost of taking my dog to the vet...
(Where she was horribly behaved):

$168


What is the most interesting thing about these two totals?

When you add them up, they are more than my last pay check.

That's right, folks. Two weeks worth of my time and effort at a place I loathe... sucked down the drain in one day.


Tonight, I veg. I have no motivation to do anything else.

The Highlight of My Day!

**NOTE: No toads were harmed in the making of this blog post. Mr. Toad here was simply in the box long enough for a photo shoot and then back out into the wild he went!!**

PS--It's hard to tell... but he wasn't much bigger than my THUMB NAIL! How sweeeet!

Are You Ready?

This evening, I was just browsing through some YouTube videos. Nothing exciting. I don't know WHAT made me think of it, but I decided to look up this old DC Talk video. I don't know if you know who DC Talk is... but if you do... you know its a BLAST FROM THE PAST! lol! Anyway, I remembered - for some reason - about this live video of a Larry Norman cover... "I wish we'd all been ready". I looked it up... and I must say... it will never get old! Anyway, I wanted to share the Larry Norman version of it with you. Larry Norman was a pretty big pioneer of the Christian Music Scene... the Jesus Movement. You may not be into his style... but I hope you'll take the time to view the video. It was filmed at Cornerstone Music Fest... a festival which I have attended since I was 14. This was the first year I missed it!!! (Gas prices too expensive... and last year was kind of a bummer--made me not really want to go this year). Anyway... I know there is a lot of controversy over "end times" and such... but I watched another Larry Norman video on YouTube before deciding to post this one... and he was sitting at a piano in the early 80's--talking about Jesus... talking about war and people being afraid and wanting peace. What he says makes sense. At least to me. I get so frustrated with the goings on of the world. I don't even keep up with it most of the time because it seems so obnoxious. But when it all boils down to it--especially with this being election year--one thing that we have to remember is that there WILL be war. No one likes it... no one wants innocent people to die... no one wants their brother, sister, husband, wife or child to be out there on the lines....... but we should all be thankful for their dedication. There will NEVER be peace... NEVER... until our Mighty Jesus comes to take us home. I am not trying to sound like some wacky religious nut... I'm just saying... there is an ultimate plan. Why we worry about how we look, what we wear, what car we drive, what brand name clothes, shoes, furniture, etc we buy... who has the most "toys"--the list goes on and on... but ultimately we are here for one purpose... to love each other... to let Jesus shine through us. We're so busy worrying about what everyone else thinks of us... that we forget to worry about whether they are hurting or maybe need a friend. I know I'm guilty of it. And I hope one day... I will stand before my Maker... and he will smile upon me. And if I'm alive when Jesus comes back.... I want to be ready!


If you're interested in Larry Norman... check him out on YouTube or his webpage.

The County Fair

lame.

cory and i went to the fair tonight. my parents had free passes.... ummmm.. it was pretty lame. we walked around a little... looked at the animals and watched the kart races. then we walked up the food aisle and to the rides/games to see if there was skee-ball. (we are skee-ball and crane machine FREAKS!--how did i get so lucky!?)... but there wasn't anything but stupid stuff. and this guy yells out "hey YOU! with the haircut!".... cory and i looked at each other. cory is bald. head freshly shaven this morning. i was like "was he talking to you??" and we laughed... and then like 5 other guys started yelling at us (the carnies) to come play some games... "show your girl what you can do". YIKES. lol! we didn't... they probably thought we were snobs.. but they were embarassing! LOL! then i was in line to get a bottle of water.. and they had this little petting zoo there. they had CAMELS! (i love camels) well.. the signs say to lay your hands flat while feeding the animals... and this girl was like pinching a treat in her fingers trying to feed the camel... and i was watching... waiting for the camel to bite off her fingers... LOL... and i was holding up the line. i finally realized it.. and i was like AHHH! SORRY!! sheesh! but yeah.. it was pretty stinky. i guess i didn't expect anything GREAT... and at least we got in for free... and most importantly - we were there together!

(oh yeah... and i do want a miniature horse now. they are SO cute!!!)

tomorrow is a big day at work. we have a customer coming. a pretty important customer. so... i am sitting here waiting to switch laundry so i have some half decent clothes to wear (even though i work in the shop). i imagine that i will end up stenciling racks again tomorrow. yeah, that's right... i was stenciling today and the day before as well. i don't know how long i can take it. BUT! i did see an ad in the paper for a secretary job at the school. it's only for 12 months--which would be NICE if cory and i get married like next spring. i would end up moving closer to his job... and so after the 12 months is up--i could find something in the new area. oh... and did i mention that my current employer is rumored to be laying off 15% of the employees? we have about 450 employees total. you do the math... i know i can't! (LOL--at least without a calculator). i pray that they lay me off... i know, horrible... but if i could have a little unemployment coming in and still have time to go look for a new job---that would be GRAND. unfortunately--no one else knows how to do my job. CRAP. so i'm screwed. i pretty much have to stay. and my coworker who is in receiving... yeah. she may have found a job that she can WALK to from home! sweet! so if she leaves.. i may be back to my shipping and receiving position. we'll see.

laundry just buzzed---gotta go switch them around. pray for me tomorrow at work (that i don't scratch my eyeballs out... and also that my gas hook up goes well.... i am hoping the guy doesn't have to drill through my walls and such!!)

***OH! on a sad note.. :( a family who is neighbors with my aunt and uncle lost their little boy today. he was 2 yrs old... drowned in their swimming pool. i don't know the whole story word for word... but the version i got was that they couldn't find him... so they checked the pool but didn't see him. they went around checking in the neighborhood... nothing. when they came back home.. the dad went back to the pool and there was a raft type thing on the water... and when he moved it... the little boy was under it. i heard they were trying to revive him.... but as far as i know... he didn't make it. :( please please please pray for his family. i think of my sisters kids and how awful it would be to lose one of them. i just can't imagine what they are going through.***

Bring the Rain

Please go HERE. Take some time to Read. Listen. Pray.

My Weekend

I just wanted to share a bit with you about my weekend. I will try not to bore you too much!

First, this is some of the pottery I made on my DAY OFF! (I wish there were more days off....)


Originally I was going to be going to a festival to sell some pottery, etc this weekend... but I just didn't have enough inventory. So I decided to work on making some. Also, I had requested off from the teen center... so the opportunity arose to go to the Dirt Track Races with my dad. I COULD have gone to the teen center in all reality... but since I'd had it planned off and Cory went to a baseball game with a friend... I was glad to be able to spend time with my dad.

That was all on Friday... which I also was able to go with my sister and her daughter to the mall to exchange some shoes. My niece is a flower girl in a wedding and the shoes they got were too small.

Saturday, Cory's parents came out again with a Ditch-Witch. Cory's dad dug the ditch to lay the pipe for my gas line... and then Cory and I spent the morning digging out places that were close to the house. (Too close for the machine) We had to cover it all with plastic because of impending rain - and as we were putting rocks and such down so the plastic would stay put... I happened to have a few boards in my arms to use... and ssssslllllliiiippp... one fell out and jammed me in the leg and slammed onto the top of my foot. Brought tears to my eyes! It hurt BAD.. and it still hurts! It's swollen and a bit bruised. NOT FUN.

Saturday afternoon, my mom called after having ridden her horse for like 4 hours. She was about two miles from home and she couldn't get him (Coby) to drink water. So, I met her at the top of a hill with a bucket of water, hoping he would drink from that since he wasn't wanting to drink from the stream.... and it was a no go. My mom was pooped and sore... so I offered to ride him the last mile home. That was interesting, considering I haven't been riding in years (other than a brief stint back the road that lasted maybe 5-10 mins). It went pretty well though and he was SO glad to be home! And I think my mom was glad to have the break and drive my car back!

Saturday evening, Cory and I drove out to a field where my mom was getting hay... and helped her and my brother in law throw bales onto the back of my dad's tiltbed. Talk about using muscles I didn't know I had!!! We walked along the truck and picked them up, threw them on and kept walking to the next, etc. As we were getting ready to go back to the barn, my bro-in-law noticed that we'd blown a brake line. So, he had to baby the thing the whole way home... then we unloaded the hay. (TIRING!) Then, they were able to crimp the line and go back and get another small load of hay (since it was supposed to rain, they had to get it all done)... and then came back and we unloaded all of that. A total of 150 bales tossed around!

Today was church... then out to eat with dad and Cory... then to the grocery store... then home, wrapped presents and headed out to my sister's for her daughters birthday party. I can't believe she is 7!! Unfortunately it was POURING... so we had to cram inside... but it seemed to go pretty good. You can see pics HERE.

I hope you all had a nice weekend! Mine was BUSY and sore!!!

Gas Line Woes...

Note to self: Never ever ever ever leave your house in disarray... EVER.

Yesterday, Cory and his dad were coming out after work to help dig for the installation of a new gas pipe for my house. I figured I would have a little time to come home... straighten up and bit and then help them out once they came. I pull into the driveway to find that Cory's dad's truck is already at my house. Then, getting out of my car... my mom's dog --who should've been tied up outside, since it was a nice day-- must have broken free... because she walked over to me with those "rescue me!" eyes. (she's getting old and was rather tired... she wanted to go inside and lay down. used to be we could never catch her when she got loose!) So, I let the dog in the house, grabbed my stuff and came around to say something to Cory's dad. He disappeared! So, I walked in the house and set my lunch box down... glancing out the kitchen window... I see... Cory's MOM and DAD!!!! Panic struck. My house was a mess! I usually live in a mess... because it's darn hard working FT and then coming home to take care of a house. And it was even more of a mess because I'd been going through stuff for yard sale, etc. So... I had to let Boo out... and of course, she ran right over to them. I brought her back inside and went on a rampage of shoving things out of sight, putting dishes away... making sure the bathroom was clean... etc. Yikes!!! They probably thought I was looooooney! I'm sure they could hear me banging stuff around, etc. Shoot! So, then.. I went outside to help. The night before, Cory and I had started digging. But... Ummm... I told him to dig in the wrong spot. ARGH! I wasn't really paying attention, I guess, when my dad was telling me what needed to happen. So I spent time shoveling dirt back in that hole... and trying to save the pieces of grass to pack down on top. Wouldn't you know it... even though I KNEW it was there... I stepped right in a BIG pile of dog-doo-doo. Sheesh! I could smell it... looked around... and saw a foot print in the one pile... then realized... TAA DAA! It was on my foot... luckily I was wearing my work boots. But still. It reeeeeked!! Cory's dad was right there. I was so embarrassed... I said, "I guess I was the lucky one today! Stepped right on a land mine!" and kind of shook my head. He snickered. I should've just kept my mouth shut. Well, finally Cory came from work and then I went to help his mom at the other end of the pipe--by the house. She was digging where they are going to move the meter. Of course, what did she find? That the pipe comes out from the house a couple of feet (underground)... then T's off toward the back of the house! Must go to the furnace... it's the only thing other than the stove that is gas. So, that causes a problem... because we were pretty sure that the plumber didn't know this. I don't like calling people--especially people I don't know. So I went over to my mom's and conned her into calling the guy. He pretty much said not to worry about it... he'd take a look at it and determine what needs to happen... "If its a lil more work--its a lil more work" --- HA! Yeah! On MY dollar!! So, we made the decision to keep digging... and Cory's dad is going to bring a ditch-wich (?) out today to dig the area from the road to the house. I dunno... but it was so crazy. It was stressing me out. It always seems to be more than what was expected (or hoped for). My mom came out and was helping dig... and we chit chatted with Cory's mom... at one point they stopped digging and went over somewhere... looking at flowers or something... and I didn't know where Cory was. Guess where I found him? He sort of looks like the Hunchback... since he's all scrunched in there and squinting from the sun! LOL (sorry Cor). A little later, Boo was lurking around... and I told her to go find Cory... and she sniffed around and looked for him... and finally found him in the hole... and almost fell in on top of him! Whhhoooops! Also, Boo decided that she likes baby binkies. The neighbor's little girl dropped hers outside... and Boo got it..... 3 times. Oops! Anyway... it was a bit zaney... and like I said... Cory's dad is bringing a digger thingy out to dig today. I need to go get a shower before he comes. I was hoping to throw some pottery today - I took the day off! (Hallelujah!)

Oh, one more thing... back when I worked in the office... and wasn't piddling around painting racks and such. I was in charge of an account from this one place in Ohio. I had to go back and forth with this one lady about inventory and such... and we found out that we both had Lab dogs (she has TWO!)... and constantly kept in touch even though I've changed positions, TWICE. So yesterday at work... I get an email - which was actually from the day before after I'd left... that she was going to be visiting the plant. Holy Crap! I was in old holey jeans (not really allowed.. but umm.. oh well), a crappy old tshirt, a bandana, no make up... and boots. But She wanted to finally meet me. So, the one guy paged me to go up when she was there.. and man, I felt like such a goober! I felt like I had to keep apologizing for the way I looked. She asked about Boo, etc. It's funny how you have a mental picture of someone and they look NOTHING like what you thought once you actually meet them! I was glad to meet her though, she was really nice... even if I did feel like a geek.

Well, I really gotta get hoppin' - don't want to be in my PJ's when Cory's dad shows up!!

When Will It End? When Will It Begin?

Work.

Work has been so horrible. I am sure there are people who will read on... and think I am just a whiner. Believe me, I KNOW there are people in worse situations. I KNOW that I am Blessed in SO many ways. But when you have to drag yourself out of bed each morning... when you have a horrible feeling about going in to your current employment situation.......... sometimes you just need to vent.
I don't know if it's the economy. I must be honest, I am not one to keep up with politics and news, etc. I just try to get through each day and try to keep myself on the positive side of things. That's a challenge for me! I have been such a pessimist for most of my life.
You may know that last month I switched from my Shipping & Receiving job... to just "Shipping". This new job includes checking parts into the warehouse, helping to keep things organized, computer work, and creating paperwork for shipments we send out, etc. Like I said earlier... I don't know if it is the economy or what... but we are SLOW! S-L-O-W! I have done pee-on jobs... such as stenciling racks, cleaning and painting a forklift, helping the Inspection Dept with some stenciling, SWEEPING THE FLOOR. Technically, maybe I shouldn't complain. I am getting paid to do whatever I do. But let me tell you... I am BORED. I am not challenged in any way--AND... I have to put up with really obnoxious people! I know, that's horrible. I am obnoxious in my own ways... and usually I try to be nice to everyone and look past stuff that happens or stuff that they say. I know that no matter where ya go or what ya do... you pretty much have to deal with people. We should take that as an opportunity to be a good witness... to let people see Jesus in us. I have been struggling with that lately. I WANT to do those things... but I am just having a hard time dealing with some people. Today, my coworker called me at home (after I'd left) to tell me some things he heard someone say about me. Let me start by saying that there was a situation today... and certain people didn't do THEIR jobs... and when it got to my part of it... I couldn't do mine. So, I passed the info on (via email) to the person who takes care of inventory. I also BLIND-copied the coworker who ended up calling me. Anyway--the email wasn't meant to be nasty or rude. I was just simply giving the info... what had happened... and what needed to happen before it got to me. We all know that emails and such can be taken in ALL sorts of ways--and apparently this person thought it was quite the "nasty gram". I appreciate my coworkers call--as a heads up--but now I am just stewing over this whole thing. Part of me imagines going in to work tomorrow and just flipping out at the person. Then another part of me knows that I need to be cool, calm and collected. If I lose my cool, it won't show Jesus. But UUUUUGH! Sometimes I just want to freak out. I called my sister to vent... and she helped me cool down a bit--but I am just so sick of everything at my work. I like some of the people. I've made friends and learned a lot about the business and about working with others... but what about my gifts? What about my talents and the things I like to do? This job is a joke. Actually, I feel like a joke at this job. If I think of the Pros... I can come up with quite a few.... Full-Time, Benefits/Vacation, Over-time, pay(for my lack of college/experience), daytime hours, 6 or 7 mile drive, I get to head up the ladies Christmas party (LOL!). Cons... PEOPLE, not challenging enough, dirty all of the time, have to take a shower when I get home, exhausted, PEOPLE, BORING, crappy desk set up, wearing a hard hat, PEOPLE, hot and cold--depending on season--ICK.
Here is my dilemma... and I KNOW that I can't play God in my own life. But I am so tired of waking up in such a slump. I hope to get married next Spring (its not official)... and it would be silly of me to quit my job now... if I could just stick it out... I could quit later - when it made sense and I would be moving. But I want to quit. I need to quit. Do I try to talk to my supervisor and let him know how unhappy I am? Do I look for a new job? All I've ever wanted to do in life is be a stay at home wife and mom. Part of me doesn't want to try to find a new job because I feel like I'll be obligated to the job and would feel guilty if I were to quit to live my dream. Silly, I know. But--then there is a part of me that wants to do something CRAZY! Its crazy because I am young and it is a lot of hardwork. I believe I could do it, but I believe I would be maxed.

I want to start my own consignment shop.

Antiques, handcrafted items, unique and interesting. My little town is a pretty good tourist area. I believe I could earn a half decent living (at least pay the bills). I would LOVE to get some of you crafters and artists involved. The only problem (besides not having much of the "start up" money it would take)... is that I can't do it alone. Or, I guess, I am afraid to do it alone. I don't know if I could handle all of the responsibilities. And if I get married... I will most likely live 30-40 mins in the opposite direction of the tourist part of the area - and it would be a long drive to keep up with the store (or end up not being in a prime location to be closer to my home). Also, I want to have time to do my own arts... pottery, weaving, mittens, jewelry, etc. If I had a partner or two... we could split "shop time" - and I could use those days off to create my own merchandise. I have mentioned it to my sister... she has a nice spacious garage that would be a great location. But it needs a lot of work and... it's also her husbands garage. LOL... you know men and that sort of thing!! Plus, she is going to homeschool her kids... and that would be a hard thing to juggle. Just so many factors. I am trying to be dilligent in my prayers about it. I wouldn't even know where to start... and I know it wouldn't be an escape from people... but it would be a way to use my talents and interests. Not feel like I'm spinning my wheels. *sigh* I don't know.

I am going to go google some jobs in my area and maybe some shop ideas...........

Whodunnit?

This morning, I woke up with a pounding headache and a sour stomach. I had to teach nursery at Church... (no kids showed up)... and I tried to stay for the service... but i just couldn't do it. So, I came home. I walked in and was greeted by Boo... went to my room to change... then decided that I needed to do some laundry. I had some rugs hanging on a drying rack in my laundry room--so I decided to vacuum and then put them back on the floor. I vacuumed in the bathroom and kitchen (i loathe the carpet in those rooms! ick!)... and then came in to vacuum the living room.... to find...... this:
(Don't mind the dirty carpet - hence the reason I was vacuuming)
I am not sure how a ground mole would've gotten in my house... and I am really not sure how it died!!! I cleaned it up... scooping with the dust pan... and it wasn't stiff. ICK!!!!
Boo could've brought it in... but she barely even paid attention to it. So maybe it was her... and she'd just lost interest by the time I got home? i can't even think of when it may have gotten in!!!
Then there is Weezer... but she doesn't ever go outside. I imagine she would go after it if she saw it... but I am just baffled by how this may've happened!!!
I am thoroughly grossed out! The question still lies... Whodunnit?

Well, I'm off to lay down... my head hurts so much that I feel nauseous...

News... What is Going ON!?

I don't have cable... or dish.. or satellite, etc. I watch one channel. Channel 10. If I move the rabbit ears around... I can kind of get channel 8, and sometimes channel 3. I usually just keep it at channel 10 though, it's less of a hassle... and I can watch the local news. Today at lunch break, I decided to look up some national news online. I went to fox news... and came across this crazy story... This 70 year old woman... having babies? Ummm. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I mean, the story says that they wanted a family heir. Understandable. But... NOW? At 70 years old? I mean, the parents are most likely going to die before the kids of legal age (sorry--not to be horrible). I am not so sure what I think about it. I know I already pretty much said that - but is it like playing God? Part of me thinks... if you are young and unable to conceive... it makes sense to try other options. But your body isn't past its prime of child bearing. You have plenty of life ahead of you (assuming you live to a "normal" age--whatever that may be). I know there are people that disagree with me... even on that much. They think that if you can't conceive naturally - then that's the way God plans it. I just don't know. I have never had kids... and I pray that someday I will... but if I can't - I think I would be heart broken if I couldn't try SOMETHING. There's that motherly tug at my heart... and to imagine never holding a life inside of my own body.... well, it just makes me sad. I am totally ALL for adoption - but I dunno. Anyway... the story about this woman giving birth just baffled me. What do you think about it all??

ALSO... Another story on the page was about a 16 yr old boy who video-taped himself... putting an EIGHT MONTH OLD BABY on an inflatable pillow... and then he jumped on the pillow and the baby flew off (a number of feet away) and was SCREAMING. I don't believe the baby was hurt... but I was TOTALLY APPALLED at this teenager. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!? If I heard the story right, the kid must've been talking about it at school and a teacher got on YouTube and saw the video and turned him in. And... not that it makes it worse... because no matter how you look at it.. its just AWFUL--but it wasn't even his kid or his brother/sister. It was a baby that his family was watching for someone else! Can you imagine being that parent!? Or the teenagers parent!? MIND BOGGLING... seriously. I didn't include a link to that youtube video... I'm sure you could look it up. It just disturbed me too much to include the video. So sad.

I went grocery shopping with my grandma after work. She can't really go by herself.... so I helped her out. Makes me sad. Makes me upset when I think about other family members that are quite capable of helping... but don't....... but I was able to stop at the store on my way home from work. It wasn't out of my way and luckily the meeting I have tonight isn't until 7 - so it worked out. I'm glad I'm able to help out... even if it isn't always convenient. She needs us... and I'll do what I can to be there.

I hope you all have a nice 4th of July....

I've Been Lacking on the Posts...

I know I haven't really been writing. That's what summer does to ya! I've had meetings.. and went to visit my grandpa (who had heart surgery).... and the teen center... yadda yadda. I apologize.

Lately, I have been dreading work... BIG TIME. Not just the usual... "ick" that I feel in the morning. The past week or so... it's been a BIG WEIGHT on my shoulders, a tightness in my chest. I am trying to keep that positive attitude... but I must confess... it is so hard! I have been thinking a lot about wanting to stay home. I have always had the desire to be a wife and a mom... stay home, cook, clean, etc... but lately its taken off like a shot and I believe its playing a big part in my dreaded work days. Maybe its because I've been reading "Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. It talks a lot about the woman's role. Of course, I'm not married... but even so... when I come home to my house in the evenings, I just want to clean it all up! It has gotten quite messy lately with clutter (I never fully moved from my parents... there is still a ton of stuff over there--and I've been trying to gradually get their place cleaned out--sort of). I have been trying to get stuff ready for a yard sale... but there are boxes! and boxes! I have stuff I want to keep, but I'm afraid to leave them in cardboard boxes in my attic (like books, etc) because I'm afraid the crazy temperatures up there will warp them. I know I can only do what I can do... but I want to keep a nice house, cook meals and all of that. I guess since I'm not married, it isn't a huge deal... but then I think about when I am married... with all of the prices of EVERYTHING going up... is it logical to assume that one day I'll be able to live my dream of staying at home? I guess that's when you "live within your means"... even if it doesn't seem like much! *sigh* And nowadays... I come home from work... and I am too pooped to feel like cleaning. I do the minimum of what needs done... and that's about all I can stand. It's a little discouraging. I guess I've waited this long.. however much longer isn't going to kill me... and I can use this time to prepare myself... my mind... my heart.

In other news... which is still along the lines of work........ today.... I have been mostly SPRAY PAINTING. Yes, that's right. A can of paint in hand... trying not to inhale too much. Luckily my day is half over.. and I will get to see CORY tonight... and also my brother in law - who just got home from a mission trip to Romania. AND... it's a holiday week... WOOT! Except... we have to volunteer at the Teen Center on Friday... so...... that kind of stinks. So much for a 4th of July Celebration!

Wow--sorry if I sound whiny... I am really not in a bad mood! LOL!