Monday, February 28, 2011

Our Birth Story

I don't know about you, but I always find it interesting to hear about other people's love stories and the stories of when they have their children. It's neat to read about the experiences and also sometimes encouraging to know that we aren't alone in our trials and struggles of life.

I have been meaning to write about when I went into labor... but you know how it is with a newborn! I finally have a chance to sit down and THINK... so here I am... sharing our experience with YOU! (Warning: This is a long post!)

January 22, 2011

Early in the afternoon, I began cooking this amazing chili recipe. It was the first time I'd ever made chili (so I didn't know how good it was until later). I planned on blogging about it the next day... sharing the recipe and some pictures with you all. It was seriously SO scrumptious!! Well, about 5:30PM, as we were waiting for the chili to finish up... I was sitting on the couch and was all of a sudden struck with this horrible back pain!

Have you ever carved a pumpkin at halloween time and scraped the goop out with a big metal spoon? That's what the pain felt like. Like someone was taking a big metal spoon and scraping my lower spine.

Cory was on the love seat... and when I told him what was happening, I could see the semi-panic in his eyes! But the pain went away after 30 seconds or so... and we went about our business. It was chili time!

(That chili was SO good.. I will share the recipe one of these days!)

Later that night, I started getting those pains again. I wasn't sure if they were contractions because my tummy wasn't always tightening, like they say happens. We decided to time them anyway just to be sure. Cory found a site online that is a contraction timer/tracker. It times and records the info... pretty sweet!

The pains were erratic... sometimes 10 mins apart... sometimes 20. They weren't totally unbearable, so we decided eventually to just go to bed.

I had a hard time falling asleep because the pains would come and go... I got to snooze here and there... and every time it woke me up, I'd glance at the clock to try to keep tabs. After 1AM, I finally started noticing that these pains were 5-7 mins apart. I still didn't know if they were contractions since it was pretty much just my back that was hurting... but I got Cory up and we decided to call the maternity ward at the hospital.

They agreed that I should come in... so I hopped in the shower and then we got everything together and drove over to the hospital. (Thankfully it's only 3 mins away!)

Once at the hospital, I had to do some registering stuff and preliminary blood pressure checking, etc. and then I was wheeled up to maternity. The nurses had me change and lay down... and they strapped on the contraction monitor and the fetal heartbeat monitor. Cory paid attention to what the nurse explained about the monitors and he was diligently watching the info scroll across the paper.

I think we were there about 2 hours... I was only 1-2 cm dilated... and the nurse announced that the monitor wasn't registering my pains as contractions!!!

I about crapped! (Not literally). How could it not register!? The pains were BAD! The nurses were guessing that maybe the baby was sunny side up and that's what was causing the back pain.

So, they asked if I wanted to go home... or wanted to stay.

I figured that we might as well go home since 1-2 cm isn't all that much. Who knew how long it would take to really get the show on the road!

So, home we went... where I tried to lay down and rest.

HA! Every 5 minutes I was in pain. It was so intense! Poor Cory was trying everything to help me. I literally was trying all sorts of positions to relieve the pain. At one point, I had my legs on the landing of our steps, and I was leaning forward 2 steps down with my head almost touching the floor... trying to keep the baby from putting pressure on my lower back. It didn't help. The final thing that seemed to work the best was to lean up flat against the wall as a "contraction" came... and bend my knees for support... then grab under my belly and lift it until the contraction subsided. It helped a little... but there was never any total relief!

We were laboring at home from about 4AM until 2PM when I just couldn't take it anymore. I called maternity again and they told me to come back in.

Back at the hospital, I had to wait while other people were registering at the desk... so I looked like a goober trying to grin and bear the contractions. Nurses passed by... but apparently they didn't realize I was pregnant! Finally a lady came out and they got me a wheel chair to wheel me upstairs.

I felt like such a goober!

Back in my room, changed and in the bed... Cory gave me play-by-plays of the strength of my contractions via the monitor. It was odd because some of them that registered high... didn't hurt so bad. Some that registered low were really painful. Weird.

My mom came. We turned on the Packers game as a distraction... but honestly, I couldn't even watch. I was just trying to get through each contraction.

My sister and mother in law came, but they stayed in the waiting area. My sister had my mom's laptop and was giving play-by-plays via Facebook of how my labor was going. (Oh, the joys of social networking!).

My mom was sending texts to different people to let them know how things were going... until finally, it got to the point that I couldn't stand the sound of her pressing the cellphone buttons. I made her put the phone away! HAHA! I also was going insane over some guy on his cellphone in the hallway outside of my room. The door was ajar, curtain pulled... and I don't even know what the guy was saying... but he was such an idiot that I kept telling them to shut him up and that he needed to go away. (Hey, when you're in pain... you can't help what gets on your nerves!).

The guy eventually left or something... and the nurses ended up moving me to the rocking chair. They thought it might be a nice change of position.

I was SO tired. Cory sat beside me in a chair... and as I rocked... I could feel myself falling asleep between contractions. It was so odd... because it was only little snippets of sleep. Literally maybe 30 seconds and then the pain would be unbearable and I'd have to grip the arms of the chair.

My mom touched me... and with my eyes closed, I shook my head at her... (Hullo... DON'T touch me right now!).

After a little while, they moved me back in bed to check me... and I was about 8 cm. They decided to have me stand up (really? STAND?!) and "dance" with Cory to help things along. It pretty much consisted of him holding me up and us rocking back and forth. As the pain would come... all I wanted to do was sink to the floor... but Cory held me up. Honestly, I actually smacked him a couple of times because I WANTED to sink down lower to help the pain and when he pulled up on me, it HURT!!

At this point, we'd been at the hospital about 3-3.5 hours....

All of a sudden... I felt the urge to push! We were still standing... and I started to panic. I think my mom got a nurse, I don't even know... all I remember was being told to get back into bed and the nurses saying that they sent for the doctor.

It was seriously FOREVER before the doctor came. I was complaining about how long it took her to get there... give me a break!

She finally came around 6PM... and at 6:12PM, I started pushing. What an exhausting process! I felt like I could never catch my breath and just when I needed to stop and regroup... they'd want me to push AGAIN!

6:33PM was the final push... and our sweet little Eloise was brought into the world. My mom cried, "It's a boy!"... and 5 seconds later, the nurse or doctor (like I really know which one at that point!)... said "It's a girl!!" - Of course I was like.. "WHAT?"... so I turned to look at Cory and he confirmed that it was a girl!!

38 weeks, 5 days... and we had our little girl! She was placed on me and we got our first good look at our amazing little 7 lb, 4.5 oz blessing!

Daddy's girl from the start!!

As I was finishing up the labor process... Cory took Eloise to the rocking chair, where he sat with her the whole time... just soaking it all up. I watched as he transformed from wonderful husband... to wonderful daddy with his little girl in his arms.

Our hospital stay went pretty well... the nurses and staff were great... and I was SO glad to finally have some food! (I hadn't eaten anything since that Chili on the 22nd!) Oh, also (to toot my own horn).... I didn't use any pain meds at all... and the doctor and nurses commented on how well I did and how it would've been a great labor for others to watch. In the doctor's words: " show those sissy mom's how to do it!"--haha! (Note: I DO NOT think that taking meds makes you a sissy... that was my doctor's opinion... after the pain I went through... I don't blame ANYONE for getting meds!!)

It's hard to believe that it's been over a month since we became a family of 3. Eloise is over 9 lbs now... and is starting to grow out of her newborn outfits. *tear* We still have our ups and downs (especially with nursing... and this stupid Thrush!!!!)... but not a day goes by that I don't thank God for bringing this special child into our lives. Despite the ups and downs, He entrusted us with her... and I know He doesn't give us more than we can handle.

Here's looking forward to a lifetime of ups and downs--as the 3 of us share them all together!!

Friday, February 25, 2011

One of those days...

Yesterday we took our sweet girl to the pediatrician's office for her Hep B shot. Cory was at work... so I told him that I would swing by and pick him up on the way through.

As I was getting everything ready to throw in the car... I put the baby in her car seat... and, the horrible mother that I am, I accidentally jammed her pinky finger in the one buckle thing.

She screamed bloody murder... and I promptly picked her up to soothe her. We ended up both crying... I felt SO bad!

We go pick up daddy and head to the doc's office... aaaaand... I realize that I forgot to bring a blanket to cover her up with (since they make you strip her to her diaper for the check up). I ended up holding her snug and zipping up my hoodie around her. How could I forget the blanket!?

When the doctor came in, he checked her over and was looking at a spot of diaper rash that she had... and we realized that there was left over pooh in her bum crack... so I felt like a total goober. He ended up wiping her butt! It was a bit embarrassing! Can't I even wipe her bum right!?

But... despite my failures as a mother... Eloise is still a happy baby!!

And she now weighs 9 lbs, 3.6 oz... and is 20" long!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

One Month!

Eloise is a month old today!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Just the Two of Us

I know I have been MIA from blogging lately... we have been dealing with a case of thrush in this household and it hasn't been pleasant! Despite the creams and medicine (for Eloise)... and the change in diet (for me... sugar-carb-gluten-free)... as well as sanitizing EVERYTHING all of the time... we have had no relief. Actually, I have had no relief. Eloise seems to be doing just fine. My OB and family doc won't prescribe me medicine since I'm breast feeding... but today I am going to see my family doctor anyway to see if there is SOMETHING she can do for me. I am getting desperate!

My doctor's office is an hour away... and we got a bunch of snow last night. I'm thinking the roads are not that great.

Did I mention that this will be MY first time out with Eloise by myself... as well as my first time driving with her?

Oh yeah, and only like my 3rd time driving since my accident in December.

I am having some serious anxiety this morning... it's not even funny.

On top of that... I'm sleep deprived. Breast feeding is not going as well as hoped (which is frustrating and discouraging). I swear my daughter has 10-12 poopy diapers a day! And if I'm not so lucky... she poops WHILE I'm changing her as well! (haha!) AND... my house is a complete mess... and laundry is never ending.

Being a mom is the hardest... yet most rewarding job ever. I am so thankful to have Cory around to help and be so supportive. I know I'd be a basket case without him!

I don't know how you moms of multiples do it! Seriously!

Well, I'm off to finish getting things together for our trip this morning... I am seriously trying NOT to freak out about going. I am on the verge of tears! Anxiety stinks!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Mommy & Eloise

I am not particularly fond of posting pictures of myself...
especially these days when I'm usually decked out in sweats and my
hair is beyond frizzy!

But I don't want these early days to go by without pictures of
me and Eloise... so I figured, What The Heck?

Here are a couple of pictures of us from yesterday.

Believe it or not, we didn't even have to pose the dog for this picture...
Any other time we try to get a picture of her, she looks away or looks petrified!

I still look at her, amazed that she is mine. :)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day!


Thursday, February 10, 2011

What Do I Do With This?

One of Cory's co-workers got us this diaper cake....

I'm not familiar with them... so what is it exactly that I am supposed to do with it?

Thoughts, suggestions??

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Change of Pace...

Yesterday, after speaking with my lactation consultant... we agreed that (due to some damage from over the past 2 weeks) I would start to pump to give my one side a break. It has not been easy to figure out exactly what I should be doing as far as scheduling Eloise's feedings and when to pump, etc..... but I am trying to get some sort of a routine. Hopefully we will only need to do this until I'm healed. But only time will tell!

This was Cory's first time feeding a baby... ever. He was more calm about it than I was!

I have to be honest... I have been struggling with the stress and guilt of giving her a bottle. I know it's still technically MY milk, but I feel like a cop out. Like I'm failing her because I can't just suck it up and do things the natural way. But I just CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN! I need to do what's best for both of us... and having me DREAD each feeding session due to the pain, is not helping the situation. SO... we are changing the pace and going with some pumping and with some regular nursing as well. I am crossing my fingers that all goes well!

We had her at the pediatrician's again yesterday... and she is up 7 oz. over her birth weight. The doctor is impressed--he says that "I must be doing something right"... but he doesn't know how much I still struggle with getting little Eloise to latch on properly. But... one day at a time.

I also would like to say... that I talked to my ObGyn yesterday about post partum depression. It was the weirdest thing. We were talking to the pediatrician... he asked me how I was doing... I burst out in tears... so he TEXTED my doc to see if she could fit me in that day. How odd to be texted about between doctors! But it worked... and we got in... and as much as I really hate the idea of taking meds... I know that I need to get balanced from all of this anxiety. I'm praying that it will make a difference.... soon!! And I have to view it as a good thing... not a weakness. I must admit, it's hard to keep a positive attitude!

Anyway... only 3 more pounds until I'm back to pre-pregnancy weight. Unfortunately, my body shape doesn't agree... so my normal clothes still aren't fitting that great. Hopefully one of these days though!!

Monday, February 7, 2011

A Short Visit

I think I got about 2 hours of sleep last night.

I am pooped.

My mom came over today to give me a little break, which was much appreciated!! Hard to believe that it's almost night time again... I am just praying that I'll be able to sleep this time!

Yesterday, Cory and I made a trip out to my hometown to visit my grandma. We hadn't seen her since Christmas Day and I really wanted to take the baby out since I have been getting reports of grandma's rapid decline. (I didn't take any pictures... for obvious reasons written below).

What a shock.

The last I'd seen my grandma, she was sleeping a lot... but she was still there and able to chit chat.

When we arrived yesterday, she was being spoon fed her lunch... and was slumped in a chair. Her eyes closed, her head tilted, her hands shaking.

I had a hard time keeping it together.

I know this may sound weird... but I had prayed all through my pregnancy that grandma would make it to see little Eloise. Part of me felt like taking Eloise to see her... would give her some clearance to go home. That may seem a little selfish... what makes my prayer so special? Why should God wait until Eloise and grandma met to take her home to heaven... just because I asked?

Well, I believe in the power of prayer... and I believe God answers them... so whether or not me taking Eloise to see grandma means that He'll take her home soon, I don't know... but I sincerely hope He will... for everyone's sake. Especially hers.

Though grandma only opened her eyes once (probably not even long enough to focus on anything)... she said a few random things. But the most special thing was when we were leaving and I told her I loved her. She very clearly said, "I love you too sweetheart". I know I can't guarantee that she even knew who she was talking to... but if those are the last words I'll hear from her... I will cherish them forever.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Who Ya Gonna Call???

Eloise had an appointment today to check on her weight. She is up to 7 lbs, 8.5 oz (which is 4 oz more than her birth weight--YEA!). After talking with the doctor about a few things... he checked to see if perhaps she is tongue tied. Sorry if this is TMI... but we are having a hard time with the whole "latching on" thing. The first few seconds, I am in excruciating pain. Then, after maybe 10 seconds has passed, she goes on to nurse normal and all is well.

However, I also am SO SORE pretty much 24/7.

The doc said that she didn't seem tongue tied... and he gave me a pamphlet to call a lactation consultant. As much as I wish I didn't have to... and that everything would magically be wonderful... I called.

We have an appointment for tomorrow.

Something has GOT to give! Obviously Eloise is getting milk. She is growing and gaining. But I need some sort of relief. I am hoping that this appointment will bring that for me. I can handle the lack of sleep thing... but I just dread the feedings in general because I know that they are going to bring such pain.

So, wish me luck!! I am a bit nervous of having someone observe me while I'm feeding, but if the end result is good... that's what's important for me and Eloise both!!

Here are Cory and Eloise the other night. Normally, we wouldn't let this happen... since ya know, it's not recommended. But since I was up and Cory was obviously pooped, I couldn't see the harm!

Sorry I don't have anything fun or interesting to post about... but my life is limited to eat, sleep and changing diapers for the time being!!

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

It Was A Risk I had to Take...

You know how you go through 9 months of pregnancy... and your "normal" clothes somehow decide to just shrink! You can't fit into them anymore... so they sit in your drawers and closets... lonely, waiting for the day you'll shrink?.....


Today... my favorite jeans are BACK!!!

Ok, technically, I am not wearing them... but I could if I wanted to... and let me tell you...


I am down 16 of my 23 lbs from pregnancy... and even though the jeans aren't quite the fit that I'd like... it is awesome to be able to button them and not even have to suck it in!


I knew it was going to be a risk trying those pants on... if they didn't fit, I probably would have cried (what's new?)... but after getting 6 hours of sleep last night (not consecutive, of course), I had high hopes for the day...

Weigh myself? Why not?

Try on my old jeans? Sure!


Here is my girl today... soon to wake up for a feeding!!

(It's so hard to keep her little hands inside that swaddler!!)

Happy February 1st!!